


The Disappearing Man (& Girl)

by doodlerooniee



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: (it’s a lot), (kind of day 11 crying whump for a hot sec), Adult Number Five | The Boy, Fluff, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Parent Number Five | The Boy, Whumptober 2020, Young Lila Pitts, five is 21 at the start, graphic violence is just with a commission goon, its my fic and i decide how soft and happy five is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:55:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27188977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodlerooniee/pseuds/doodlerooniee
Summary: At that, Lila picks up the bowl with small hands and throws it with all her might. Some of the cucumber slices slosh out of the bowl, landing in her lap and on the floor. But before the bowl even has the chance to hit the ground and shatter, Five has teleported out of his seat in a flash of bright blue and catches the bowl mid-air.It doesn’t even take a second for Lila’s jaw to drop. “What was that?! Do it again, Five!”“Oh, shit,” Five mutters-5 times Five uses his powers, and 1 time Lila uses hers.
Relationships: Mr. Pennycrumb & Lila Pitts, Number Five | The Boy & Lila Pitts, Number Five | The Boy & Mr. Pennycrumb
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	The Disappearing Man (& Girl)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [i hoped you would return (and you hoped i would follow)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27086767) by [nogohello](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nogohello/pseuds/nogohello). 



> basically I read when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) and LOVED the concept of Five adopting Lila so much I couldn’t let it go. im kind of co-opting their backstory here- Five was only in the apocalypse until he was 16, and from then to 21 worked as a commission agent before killing the handler and taking Lila in as his own. this is basically just an advertisement for their fic, go read it for your own happiness srsly

1.

Lila is four the first time she sees Five teleport (or “jump”, as he later insists it is called). 

Past their hesitant beginnings, Lila grew used to Five’s presence. With her new reality settled, mischief and excitement that came naturally to Lila were revealed to a very exasperated Five attempting to keep up with an exuberant four year old. However, the adventurous spirit could only last so long before there was some form of a fallout.

Of all the things to be angry or upset over, it’s the fact that Five is attempting to get her to eat cucumbers that breaks the dam.

“Lila, I know they’re not your favorite. But—“ Fives attempts to bargain with the girl go completely unheard, as Lila unleashes a loud growl. “What are you, a dog?”

“Yes.” Lila says vindictively, crossing her arms where she sits at the dining room table of their small home.

“Well, I don’t know if you knew this, but dogs actually love cucumbers.” Five leans in, nodding seriously in Lila’s direction.

“No, they don’t.” Lila shakes her head, pushing the bowl of sliced cucumbers away from herself and towards Five.

“They do. I’m certain of it.” Five responds, pushing the bowl back lightly. “I’m the adult at any rate, so I would know.”

“No.” Lila says simply, shoving the bowl now with greater force. One of the cucumber slices jumps out of the bowl and on to the wooden table.

“Yes,” Five pushes the bowl back with the tips of his fingers.

“No,” the bowl is shoved back.

“ _Yes,”_ the bowl prodded back in her direction. Lila’s face has now turned a deep shade of red in obvious frustration, and a deep hate for cucumbers.

“ _No!”_ At that, Lila picks up the bowl with small hands and throws it with all her might. Some of the cucumber slices slosh out of the bowl, landing in her lap and on the floor. But before the bowl even has the chance to hit the ground and shatter, Five has teleported out of his seat in a flash of bright blue and catches the bowl mid-air.

It doesn’t even take a second for Lila’s jaw to drop. “What was _that?!_ Do it again, Five!”

“Oh, shit,” Five mutters. “No, no, I can’t do it again.”

“What? Why?” Lila asks, and the brief interruption to her turmoil the jump provided is gone as Lila resumes her fit and unhappiness.

“...we can talk about it when you get older, how about that?” Five asks. Before Lila can respond or get any more upset, Five walks over and picks the girl up. “I’m sorry for making you upset.”

Lila nods and pats Five on the face. “It’s ok. I wanna see that again, though. Also I hate cucumbers.”

“I know you do.” Five makes his way to the stairs. “You still have to eat your vegetables, though.”

2.

It’s at a park the second time Lila sees her father jump.

Ever since that first instance almost two years ago, her father hasn’t done it since. No matter how much she begs, or how much time she spends pestering him to show her _just once_ , he refuses. Eventually, it became low priority for Lila’s now six year old brain and has barely been brought up at all.

It’s later in the evening, and Lila had desperately wanted to go play on the new jungle gym at the local park, so here they are.

Her father sits on a nearby bench, the park absolutely deserted of people. He and Lila are the only ones for miles- though if Lila really squints, she can see a woman and her dog playing fetch  _ really _ far away.

Lila runs back and forth on the spaced out bars, and jumps across the wobbly bridge. Down the slide, across the monkey bars.

“Dad, look!” Lila calls, and watches as her father looks up from his book. Lila gives him a quick thumbs up, and goes at breakneck speed across the monkey bars. When she’s done, she hops onto the platform with a flourish and fake curtseys. He golf claps in response, and tells her she did a good job.

Lila smiles and continues to play much the same. Eventually, though, she realizes she can be  _ much higher _ if she were to use the handles on the sides of the slide to climb up, up,  _ up  _ and above even the monkey bars!

Above the slides she sits, at the highest point of the whole jungle gym. From here, she can more clearly see the woman and her big dog playing together. Lila loves dogs, though she’s not really sure what her dad thinks of them. Actually, now that she thinks about it, Lila hasn’t actually really been around dogs except a rare pat to one on a walk in town. Huh.

Lost in thought, Lila doesn’t notice her foothold going from stable, to precarious, to suddenly non-existent. Even her hands slip, unable to catch her where she sits.

“Dad—!” She manages to yell in her panic. Before Lila can even hit the ground, a bright flash of blue encompasses her senses momentarily, and before she knows it she’s safe in her father's arms.

“Christ, Lila!” He exclaims, gently setting her down and crouching to be eye level. “Are you alright? Why would you even get up that high?!”

Lila shrugs non-committedly, and all Five can do is sigh.

“Don’t do that again. You’re gonna drive me into an early grave, if the coffee doesn’t first. I’m still young, you know.” Her father says, rubbing her arm before standing up and taking Lila’s hand to lead her back to the bench he was sat on.

Lila scrunches up her face. “ _ Young? _ No offense Dad, but I don’t think so.”

“Definitely doesn’t feel like it, that’s for damn sure,” he mutters, but Lila still hears him.

“You teleported again,” Lila points out after a moment of silence. She watches as her father's shoulders tense, and his grip on her hand flexes just a bit before loosening completely to grab his book and her bright pink jacket.

“Yeah, I did,” he replies. “Also, it’s called  _ jumping _ . Teleporting is something Sci-Fi characters do.”

“Ah-huh,” Lila agrees, but doesn’t really get it. While she puts on her jacket with her dad's assistance, Lila watches as the woman and her dog walk off into the distance.

3.

With their newest addition to the family in the form of a golden retriever puppy donned with the name Mr. Pennycrumb, comes the third time Lila see’s her father jump.

It’s late spring, and Lila had hopped off the bus and got home 30 minutes ago whenever her father bursts in the door with a small puppy under one arm. He tells her he found him in a dumpster on his way home from work, and that’s that. That night they give the dog a bath and come up with a name together. 

That was months ago, and now in early September, Mr. Pennycrumb is getting bigger by the day. It’s a lazy Sunday, cold and grey now at nine in the morning but will be painfully warm in the evening.

“Dad, I forgot my bag in the car,” Lila calls up the stairs. Her father is more than likely pouring over his textbooks and math like he likes to do, God only knows why. 

It’s quiet for a moment as Lila just stares up the hall, then she hears a chair scraping backwards and footsteps coming towards her down the hall. Her father appears at the top of the staircase, and comes down to hand her the keys.

“Thanks!” Lila says, snatching the keys before he even has the chance to make a dumb remark like “ _ no joyrides”,  _ even though she’s still only seven and can’t drive. 

“Don’t let Mr. Pennycrumb out,” Dad calls after her, now from the kitchen. The dog in question raises his head from where he lay on the couch, chewing idly on a rope toy. 

Lila nods and gives her dad a thumbs up as she slips out the front door to go retrieve her backpack. The clouds cover the sky as far as the eye can see, far off over the forest and the long driveway that separates she and her father from the rest of society.

After grabbing her black bag, Lila trots back up the porch steps and opens the door. Before she can even think twice, a large force is jumping into her and she’s flat on her back on the porch.

On the way down, Lila lets out a small scream of surprise- which quickly devolves into giggles whenever the culprit begins excitedly licking her face.

“Mr. Pennycrumb, come on! You can’t be outside.” Lila says, trying to push the dogs chest away from her. Suddenly, a flash of blue comes from the doorway, carrying her father looking frazzled.

“Lila? What happened?” He asks, looking past her and over the fields and forest that surround their home. His stance is extremely tense, as if ready for someone to hit him.

“Nothing,” Lila says simply. Mr. Pennycrumb backs off the girl and goes to his master, nudging her fathers hand with a wet nose. Lila laughs, “Mr. Pennycrumb just wanted some extra attention.”

“Oh,” her father breathes, idly petting the dog at his hand. He still seems tense, eyes still scanning the horizon. Lila scrunches her face up, grabbing her backpack as she stands.

“Dad, it’s okay,” Lila tries, and his eyes snap to her. He nods jerkily once, then deflates into a normal stance, petting Mr. Pennycrumbs head less absentmindedly.

Lila walks over, grabbing her dad's absent hand as she slips by in the doorway. The two spend the rest of the day reading and watching the small tube television together.

4.

It’s only been twenty minutes since school ended the fourth time a now eight year old Lila sees her father jump.

“I  _ hate  _ school.” Lila declares as she walks in the door. It’s Friday, meaning her father is off work and Lila gets home early. She tosses her bag off her shoulder to the floor, running a hand along Mr. Pennycrumb’s back before flopping face down onto the living room sofa.

“Never would have guessed,” her father says idly from the other room. Lila lifts her head to glare at him.

“You have a meeting with my teacher on Wednesday.” Lila remarks, then quickly shoves her face back into the couch. She hears her dad sigh from the kitchen, but says nothing- not that she expected him to, exactly. Dad has never been terribly disappointed in her more than brash attitude at school.

Despite not being chewed out by her father, she’s still in a sour mood. Today had been a rough one, and her attitude certainly hadn’t been what she knows her teacher wishes it was. Lila woke up on the “wrong side of the bed” today, she guesses.

Lila did her work, that wasn’t the problem. No, the problem came when she interrupted her teacher to snap at a fellow student, or being abrupt and rude when her teacher asked a dumb question. Clearly, today she pushed it too far.

Ordinarily, Lila isn’t too bothered by the fact her teacher doesn’t seem to like her all too much. She has a select few friends at school, and she’s okay with that. Really, she is.

Today, however, is just not her day.

“Lila,” Her father calls again, and Lila wants to groan and turn her back to him. She knows, though, that nothing good will likely come from that, so she turns her head just enough to see him from behind her dark hair. “Follow me.”

By the time she sits up to do as he says, her father is already at the door with a now collared Mr. Pennycrumb following close on his heels. He has a small bouncy ball in his hand.

Lila follows after, grabbing her jacket to don again against the November weather. Once outside, the two walk out to the middle of the large field surrounding their home. Her father stops, and hands her the small ball.

“I want you to throw that ball in any direction.” He says, closing her fingers around the ball. Lila looks down at Mr. Pennycrumb, who would ordinarily be bouncing off the walls with excitement to play fetch. However, the dog simply sits calmly next to Lila’s feet, staring up at her father.

“Okay…” Lila trails off. Her father nods and steps back to allow her to throw as hard as her small arms will allow. She winds up, standing sideways like they taught her in her P.E. class, and throws the ball as hard as she possibly can into the forest.

Expecting Mr. Pennycrumb to chase after the small ball, she looks down expectantly at the dog. Clearly this is not the case, as the dog only looks up at her with a lopsided doggy smile, and a flash of blue occurs to her right, where her dad had been standing.

“Dad?” Lila asks the empty air, bewildered. The realization that he tele-  _ jumped,  _ has Lila almost instantly beaming.

Like he was never gone, her father appears right where he left, holding the small ball. Plainly, he announces, “Ta-dah.”

“Oh my god, yes! That is so cool! Will you do it again?!” Lila demands more than asks, and a smile cracks her father's face as he hands the ball back to her.

This time, Lila winds her arm back and throws the ball further into the vast field instead of the forest. Her father quickly claps his hands towards Mr. Pennycrumb, who excitedly jumps up and barks, dashing towards the ball. Her father beats the dog to it, however, appearing in a flash where the ball is just about the land in the tall grass.

The two continue on like that, until Lila demands she be the one to chase the ball despite her lack of spatial jumping. It has long grown cold and dark before the two head back inside for dinner.

5.

It’s mid-December, and Lila is making the long trek from the top of their driveway where the bus had dropped her off. Being eight years old, Lila is pretty used to the long walk. Occasionally, when he’s off work early, Dad will be waiting for her at her stop and they will walk back home with Mr. Pennycrumb in tow. Other days, when it’s almost too cold to function, he’ll be waiting in a warm car for the short drive back.

Today Lila takes the walk alone, though she doesn’t mind the solitude. She talks aloud to the squirrels she sees or even to herself, talks about the books she’s reading or what she wants for dinner. However, her chatter falls off when she hears something abruptly emerge from the brush.

Looking over, Lila quickly realizes that it’s Mr. Pennycrumb that has come from the woods. The dog has crumpled and soggy leaves sticking to his legs and ears.

“Hey, buddy,” Lila greets in confusion. Mr. Pennycrumb is never allowed out on the property without the accompaniment of she or her father, and her dad is nowhere in sight. “Where’s Dad, huh?”

She crouches down, and the dog swiftly comes to lick at her face. He whines as Lila gently removes the leaves from his soft fur, but yelps when Lila touches a spot on the back of his left front leg.

“What, what?” Lila frantically asks, startled by the dogs sudden noise. Bending down to take a look, Lila notices that there’s a good amount of blood coating the dog's golden fur on that leg, and when she parts the fur she sees the source as being a rather thick cut. “Oh, man. Where is  _ Dad?” _

Not knowing what else to do, Lila puts a hand on Mr. Pennycrumbs head in a comforting gesture as the two continue the (now slower) walk back home. Whenever she gets there, Lila notices the front door is flung wide open. She furrows her brow, but continues in cautiously nonetheless with Mr. Pennycrumb close on her heels.

“Hello? Dad?” Lila asks hesitantly, hanging in the doorway for a second before entering the home. Her shoulders are tense, pulled up close to her ears as she clutches her bag straps.

Suddenly, a loud crash and following grunt sounds from upstairs. Lila jumps, and Mr. Pennycrumb snarls and lowers himself further to the ground, standing in front of Lila with raised fur.

_ I should wait outside, _ Lila thinks to herself. In the same breath, the door to what sounds like her fathers bedroom makes a loud smacking noise, with a groan sounding like it came from her father right after.

“Scratch that, going up,” Lila whispers shakily to herself. She creeps up the stairs, Mr. Pennycrumb following right next to her. 

At the top of the stairs, Lila quickly notices how disorganized the upstairs is. Their home isn’t what one would necessarily call  _ organized _ in the first place, but everything has its place, and there’s an order to their chaos. Her bedroom door is as closed as she left it that morning before school, the bathroom door open across the hall with the light off.

At the end of the hall, however, her dad lays in the doorway of his bedroom with a man in a cartoonish helmet of what Lila thinks is a ferret on top of him. The man is punching the living daylights out of her father.

In the blink of an eye, her father jumps out from under the man and behind him, holding his throat in a lock as the man bends backwards to accommodate the difference in height. Just as the man’s struggling starts to fade, her dad reaches into the man’s front pocket and grabs a knife.

Quickly, the knife is embedded in the man’s throat. Her dad lets him go in a sudden movement, allowing the man to fall to his knees and gasp wetly from inside his cartoon helmet. Lila gasps at the violence, eyes as round as dinner plates.

At the noise, her father snaps his head up, making eye contact. “Oh,  _ shit _ , Lila,”

Lila says nothing, too shocked to do anything but watch as the man slumped on the ground bleeds out. The blood reaches out across the old wood floor, down the short hallway, nearing Lila’s beat up sneakers and Mr. Pennycrumbs muddy paws.

“It’s okay, honey,” her dad reassures, stepping as well as he can around the blood and swiftly picking his daughter up. He turns her away from the body, and takes the stairs back down two steps at a time.

“Mr. Pennycrumb,” Lila mumbles against his shoulder. Her father goes out as far as the porch, sitting down on the stairs with Lila in his lap.

“What about him?” He asks gently, putting his other arm not cradling Lila around the golden retriever. The dog nuzzles under his head, placing his injured leg over Lila’s knees. “Ah,”

After a few minutes, her father shifts her over from his lap to sit tucked into his side. When he moves to stand, Lila frantically grabs the sleeve of his mustard sweater. It’s speckled with blood.

“Don’t go,” she begs. Her dad looks at her with big eyes, before closing them and nodding. His eyebrows screw up before bending down to pick Lila up once more, and ruffle the fur on Mr. Pennycrumbs head. Lila doesn’t even complain about being too old to be held.

“Come on, why don’t you go take a shower.” He suggests, and all Lila can do is nod.

She does end up hopping in the shower, with a now bandaged Mr. Pennycrumb sitting guard in front of the tub. By the time she leaves the bathroom, squeaky clean, the hallway looks like there had never even been a body there at all. In fact, the whole house looks about back to its normal state of chaos instead of  _ actual  _ chaos.

Lila sighs a sigh of relief, scratching idly behind Mr. Pennycrumb’s floppy ear. However, the tension does not leave her shoulders as she makes her way downstairs to her dad.

+1

_ The blood creeps across the old wood floor. Lila tried to run from it, but it followed her, chasing her down the hallway and the stairs, blood dripping down each step after her. _

_ Unable to escape it, Lila wades through the now ankle deep thick red liquid. She calls, “Dad?” _

_ A gurgle sounds from upstairs. Urgently, Lila regains some jump in her step, and dashes up the stairs to check out the sound. Once there, she splashes through the blood at her ankles, coming up to her father's bedroom doorway. _

_ Ordinarily, she wouldn’t go inside. It’s not that she wasn’t allowed, but more that it was boring inside. Her father didn’t have anything cool in there, only a messy desk and lots of books and stationary along with, of course, his bed. _

_ “Dad?” Lila calls once more, hesitantly. She sees a flash out the window, and rushes over to see her father outside. He had just been here, but had jumped away! She attempts to yell for him- “Dad!” _

_ Suddenly, a strong hand clamps down on her shoulder. Suppressing a scream, Lila is whipped around by the hand, turning to face the man with the cartoon ferret for a helmet. Right in his throat is a knife,  _ his knife,  _ stabbed almost all the way through and gushing blood on the already flooded floor. _

_ “ _ You,” _ he hisses. His hand instantly goes around Lila’s throat. _

_ “Dad!” She screams, but he doesn’t come. “Dad, please help!” _

_ He doesn’t come, and the man’s hand shakes her. _

_ “Dad!” _

_ He flashed away, he isn’t coming back. _

“Lila!” Her dad exclaims, squeezing her shoulder tighter. Lila sits up at light speed, and before she knows what she’s doing, Lila tears through the fabric of space and leaps through.

The few seconds between  _ here  _ and  _ there  _ are enough to wake her up. She pulls through the other side, slamming into the hall closet adjacent to the entrance of her bedroom.

“Holy fuck,” she hears her dad exclaim, before chastising himself for swearing. He himself jumps into the hallway in a bright flash, right in front of where Lila is slumped into the skinny closet door. “Lila, are you okay?”

Lila nods stiffly. In a complete counter to her affirming nod, tears swim in her eyes, blurring her vision. She looks down, hoping to hide them from her father, but it only causes the tears to slip out and down her cheek. One splashes to the floor.

“Aw, honey, come here,” her dad says softly, and Lila hesitantly meets his eyes. His face is open as he wipes away her tears, and brings her into a hug.

“You- you had left. And the man with the helmet was gonna kill me,” she whispers. It’s too dark to speak at a full volume, so she lets the dark of the night and their home cloak her words. “I thought you weren’t coming back.”

Her dad holds her tighter before pulling back to look her very seriously in the eyes. “I would never leave you,”

Lila nods seriously in agreement. “I know.”

The two sit in silence for a moment more, before Mr. Pennycrumb comes trotting over happily, snuffling at Lila’s salty cheeks before giving her a lick. The girl laughs wetly, sniffing and bestowing a kiss upon the dog's soft head.

“Why don’t we go downstairs, huh?” Her dad says, and Lila smiles and slips her hand into his.

“Fluffer nutters?” She asks as they make their way downstairs, Mr. Pennycrumb winding between their feet without tripping anyone up. Her father slants his eyebrows seriously.

“Duh,” he replies. Lila laughs.

After they’ve eaten, and Lila’s a little sleepy again, her father asks genuinely, “Lila, have you done that before?”

Lila doesn’t need to ask what he’s referring to. She shakes her head no. “It felt super weird.”

He laughs. “Yeah, a little bit. You’ll get used to it though. I think it’s about time we start training you- how to use your powers, defend yourself, all that.”

Lila nods in the serious, focused way only children can. It sounds exciting, being able to beat up bad guys and jump around like her dad.  _ Extremely _ exciting.

**Author's Note:**

> i’m gonna be 100% honest here this was fully just self indulgent nonsense because I could not get this AU out of my head and dad five wanting a good life for lila is all i never knew I needed. i also wanted to write a Whumptober fic for 2020, but honestly this ended up just barely filling the prompt so…not totally sure if it counts but I’m just gonna day it does!
> 
> PS i swear i love ferrets and don’t think they’re evil animals. i have 3, and i love them!! i just thought it was a quirky animal mask idea befitting the commission 
> 
> I hope you liked it, and that you have a good day! 💗 :)


End file.
